Fri 8/31: St. Johns is the Saint of Party!!

• No Joke: Comedy Show!!

FREE The Fixin’ To 9-11pm

I think there’s a whole world of events up in St. Johns that I’m just not aware of because it’s so far away. Well, today I shall try to remedy that. You can go get your laugh on at this free monthly comedy show featuring Portland’s Funniest Person Nathan Brannon along with other Portland favorites.

• Them’s Fightin’ Words: Blue Collar Reading + Open Mic!

FREE St. Johns Booksellers 7-10pm

This promises to be the grittiest, most down home writing you will ever hear in Portland. I’m not sure exactly what that means, but I know I want to find out! Portland’s Johnny No Bueno will host with features Dena Rash Guzman and Brian Tibbetts. There will also be an open mic of “the kind of literature that looks great with a black eye, that knows the sting of dry-wall in winter-cracked knuckles, that knows the difference between the smells of freshly sanitized stripper poles and black tar heroin.”

NOTE: It’s St. Johns’ Last Friday Art Walk tonight. So, show up early and walk around.

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Thurs 8/30: Awesome Anthologies!!

• Sparrow Ghost Collective Anthology II Release Party!!

FREE Backspace 7pm

If any of you are a fan of the Portland Poetry Slam, then you will love this anthology. All of your favorite poets are now combined into one amazing book. Our own poetry publishing collective Sparrow Ghost Collective (think Broetry) is releasing their 2nd anthology and they’re throwing a massive party tonight! There will be readings, music and hilarity! I highly suggest you buy an anthology! It’s only $15. They’re practically giving it away!!

• Anthology of Poets: Before There Is Nowhere to Stand: Palestine – Israel: Poets Respond to the Struggle

FREE Broadway Books 7pm

Sometimes we need poetry to delve into topics that are too hard to discuss; to express those emotions we’re too passionate about to explain rationally. The conflict between Palestinians and Israelis is one these topics. The hope is that through poetry each side of this conflict will be able to have their voice heard. I know I want to hear what these poets have to say. 

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Wed 8/29: Reading Frenzy!!

• Reading of Zine Anthology: Mend My Dress

FREE In Other Words 7pm

Chestnut’s Zines are well respected in the zine community and her zines cover issues ranging from incest, self-harm, the riot grrrl movement, feminism, friendship, fairytale, and healing as she reflects on her childhood and coming-of-age.

• Powell’s 41st Birthday Party!!

FREE All 3 Powell’s Stores in Portland April 29-31: 9am-3pm

Powell’s already had their block party but they want to keep the celebration going. For the next 3 days you can stop by any of the Powell’s in Portland for cupcakes, prizes, face painting, readings, performances and lego art!! The website doesn’t have a specific schedule. I say you just give Powell’s a visit and do a little celebration dance!

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Tues 8/28: Mixology Mixers!!

• Mad Mixer Party!!

$5-10 sliding door Someday Lounge 7pm

Are you in love with Mad Men and a lover of women? Then come support women with a Mad Men themed dance party!! This is a fundraiser for the Willamette Planned Parenthood who would really love your mad money. Come dressed in your best sexy pants suit cause there’s a photo booth and costume party.

• Lucky Lab Hop Harvest!

FREE Lucky Labrador Brewpub 6pm

To be honest, I had no idea what hops looked like… till now. And now I can learn how to harvest hops at tonight’s Lucky Lab Hop Harvest. You can bring vines to share or help harvest others’ vines. Lucky Lab will be brewing their ale “The Mutt” from the home-grown hops. And you can be a part of the process!

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Mon 8/27: Old Classics!

• Goodfoot Open Mic: Sonic Forum!!

$1 admission The Goodfoot 7pm-midnight

Now that I’m leaving, I’m getting all sentimental. So, I thought I’d post my favorite open mic in town. To me, Sonic Forum is like one big party. Each band gets to perform a full set and because the stakes are so high each band rocks the house. If you’d like to participate in the open mic, you can email Goodfoot ahead of time or show up at 7pm to sign up. Or you can just stop by any time tonight and dance!

• Karaoke from Hell!!

FREE Dante’s 10pm

Unfortunately I never made it out to Karaoke from Hell, but I have one more chance tonight! This is a Portland classic that everyone should experience or at least that’s what I’ve heard. I mean what could be more awesome than live band karaoke? Especially on a Monday night? I’m drawing a blank.

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Sun 8/26: The SE Is Where It’s AT!!

• Hawthorne St. Fair!!

FREE Hawthorne St between 32nd-52nd 10am-5pm

Supposedly this fair is world famous!! I wonder why. Well, there does seem to be a lot happening and man is this street fair long. You can start on 32nd with a beer garden and end on 50th with another beer garden. And on the way, check out all the vendors and music and art and whatnot. Let’s all make guesses as to why this street fair is famous!

• SE Sunday Parkways!!

FREE SE Parks Route 11-4pm

And then after walking down Hawthorne, you can go around to all the SE parks!! It’s like they planned this or something. And we got some great parks in the SE: Laurelhurst, Colonel Summers, Mt. Tabor. And each one has their own thing going on: bike repair, exercise, Shakespeare, bike tours and more!! Come see how awesome my neighborhood is!!

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Sat 8/25: Celllllllabrate Good Times, Come On!!

• Powell’s 41st Anniversary Block Party!!

FREE NW Couch St. between 10th and 12th 2-9:15pm

Anyone who can proudly wear this button needs to celebrate at Powell’s block party. Or really anyone who loves what is in my opinion Portland’s best cultural icon. And dear god, this is going to be one big party! Are you ready for reading by Chuck Palahnuik and Chelsea Cain!? And FREE performances by Mortified!! Man, Powell’s is pulling out the big stops tonight!

• Mission Theater 100th Birthday Celebration!!

FREE Mission Theater 7pm-midnight

Oh man today is awesome. I can’t believe the Mission Theater is 100 years old!! And boy are they packing the party with a punch!! I mean there will be multiple FREE screenings including Liars and Safety No Guaranteed. Then there will be a special performance of Backfence PDX!! And Crafty Underdog will be there! And Fulton Brewery! And they will top it all off with a special outdoor showing of Casablanca!! Here’s see you there kid!

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Fri 8/24: Campy Cool!!

• Dark Side of Moms: Laser Show!!

$5 OMSI 11pm

You may be very confused by this picture and title of this event. I was too till I read that the band Menomena, a Portland psychedelic band, is about to release their new album Moms and they plan to play it over the Wizard of Oz with a Floyd laser show. Admittedly, I’m still confused, but according to the Willamette Week, it all actually works together. Note: an altered state might be required for entrance. 

• Hecklevision: Batman & Robin!! 

$8 Hollywood Theatre 7:30pm

It’s a new age of heckling. Now you don’t have to use your lungs to yell, all have to do is type a heckle into your phone and it shows up on the screen. And tonight you can make fun of the hard nipples of Batman & Robin. This event isn’t the cheapest, but I figured you’d still want to know about it. So, “charge up those cellphones, limber up your thumbs, and get ready to launch your best text lobs at our screen!”

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Thurs 8/23: Cheap Secrets of Portland!!

• Cheapest Gas Station in Portland!!

currently $3.85 per gallon Arco Station on NE MLK and Lombard

I have no idea why this gas station is so cheap, but whenever I’m in the area, I make sure to stop there. This gas is always about 20-30 cents cheaper than any other gas station!! And I’m not the only one who knows this secret. Whenever I go inside to pay, it seems everybody know each other. So, next time you’re up North, perhaps on the way to Trek in Park, stop by!!

• Captured by Porches Beer Bus Happy Hour!!

$3 Pints; $8 Growler refills N. Lombard Bus 4-10pm

It shouldn’t be surprising that Portland has a beer bus. I mean I’m surprised we don’t have them on every corner. But before that happens you can go to Captured by Porches Brewing Company’s very own beer bus and enjoy their ALL DAY happy hour!! All Thursday, you can get pints or fill up your growlers for cheap! I call that worth a trip up North and then you stop by the cheap gas station!!

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Wed 8/22: Music Mania!!

• The Lower 48 at The Doug Fir!!

$5 The Doug Fir Doors 8pm; Show 9pm

So I finally went to the Doug Fir last week for a show and man it is a great music venue. All the magic happens downstairs with the carpeted walls made to look like logs. My friend described this bar as a mix between the Jetsons and Paul Bunyan and she is so right! So, come check out this place and also the amazing band The Lower 48! Seriously, give them a listen. This is going to a be a great show for so cheap!!

• Incredible Yacht Control, Beisbol, Charts and Sleepy Villian!!

$5 Holocene 8:30pm

Look how fancy my Haps of Today are getting!! Take advantage and give these bands a listen!! This is one of the concerts that both The Portland Mercury and The Willamette Week are raving about. 

“After living with this album for seven months…. I can confirm it ages particularly well, and that Vogel has not lost his title as Portland’s most compelling home-recording enthusiast.” - Casey Jarman, Willamette Week

All I can say is that I approve of any album with random claps. 

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